It has been a very difficult week.
My Grandfather, Marty Fisch, died on Thursday morning, and that same day I found out that my Aunt Karen has been diagnosed with Creutzfeldt-Jakob disease. Creutzfeldt-Jakob disease is a degenerative neurological disorder that has no treatment or cure and is always fatal. I did not know my grandfather very well but I do have some key memories of him, one of them being he taught me how to swim at the local lake near where we lived in Oklahoma. My aunt on the other hand I have many memories of. Every summer we would drive to her and my Uncle Ron's farm. I would stomp around the fields with the cows trying, unsuccessfully, to avoid their droppings. I would play in the bales of hay inside the barn and scratch the backs of the cows with the cow scratcher, they always seemed to like that. My aunt is my mom's sister and our family has always been closer to my mothers side then my fathers side. Much of that has to do with my father converting to Christianity from Judaism, becoming a minister, and then marrying my mother, a non-Jew. This caused a rift on his side of the family, though in later years the rift was healed between our family, primarily due to my mom having children which, I suppose, is enough to melt even the coldest of hearts. I cannot chalk the lessening of the rift due to that though when I can see how God providentially has moved in my family.
My Nana, my dad's mother, came to faith in Christ before she died as did my Grandpa George, his stepfather. His sister also has come to faith in Christ. God has been good to our family and I revel in the glory that has brought to him. My dad's biological father, the one that just died, is a bit of a tougher situation though. He died and we do not know if he ever had saving faith in Christ. Through the years my mom and dad shared the gospel with him and my mom again shared the great hope we have in Jesus Christ with him a few weeks before he died. When my dad called me to tell me that grandpa had died I prayed with him over the phone, trying my hardest not to break out into tears. As we prayed I started to thank God that even though we did not know if my grandpa professed faith in Christ that we can take comfort that God knows and we can trust in the fact that he knows. I prayed that we can also take comfort in the fact that even though we do not know, God is just and he alone judges fairly, justly, rightly, and compassionately. As I sat down after hanging up the phone I put on a song on my stereo, started to pray and struggled to sing through the tears that had started to form. The song was To You We Bring Our Hymn of Praise by Stuart Townend. The lyrics go like this:
To you we bring our hymn of praise
Glory be to God.
Hearts and hands together raised,
Glory be to God
Who spoke before the dawn of time,
Glory be to God.
Veil of darkness torn by light,
Glory be to God.
And with unceasing voice all heaven sings,
Glory be to God.
The anthem of the Lord's redeemed,
Glory be to God.
You purchased captives for your saints,
Glory be to God.
Opened wide the kingdom gates
Glory be to God.
You overcame the sting of death,
Glory be to God.
Clothed us in Christ's righteousness,
Glory be to God.
And all your children cry with loud acclaim
Glory be to God.
Sing o Church your sweet refrain,
Glory be to God.
Father, Spirit, risen Son,
Glory be to God.
Who was and is and is to come,
Glory be to God.
This song has been unbelievably comforting to me this past week. With everything that is going on, this song was like God dropped an anchor in my heart to keep me focused on what is ultimate, namely himself and what he has done for us in Christ. Yesterday I listened to two sermons by John Piper both were difficult to hear but both were the most God-glorifying, Christ-exalting sermons on the topic of sickness and death I have ever heard. We are praying for a miracle for my aunt, if God performs one then glory be to God. If he does not, then glory be God. I firmly believe now that everything will glorify God, our lives and even our deaths, and that has been the most comforting thing throughout this family ordeal.
Glory be to God.
Post script: My Aunt Karen, who was one of the subjects of this post, died Saturday night. In light of this my belief in what I originally posted has deepened. I found a fantastic quote from Charles Haddon Spurgeon. He said, "Oh dear friend, when grief pushes thee to the very dust, worship there!" Amen.
